


New Haven Radio

by hesmyfriend



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Hunger Games (Movies), the trailsman
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Femslash, Humor, Multi, Original Characters - Freeform, Parody, Slash, updated rarely or never
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-09 05:36:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7788757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hesmyfriend/pseuds/hesmyfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the mysterious town of New Haven, no one discusses the events of Friday February the 13th, 2015.  No one discusses the past. No one discusses the outside world, if there even is one. New Haven Radio reports the news of the town, or at least something like the news.</p>
<p>Featuring characters from Marvel, The Hunger Games, The Trailsman (a Western book series no one has heard of), some of my own OCs and some I have borrowed from friends with permission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

"Hello, and welcome to New Haven Radio," Mark said through the radio speaker. It often seemed to him that he was talking to no one but just talking to an empty room. In reality, most of New Haven's citizens kept the radio on all day, and there was only one radio station in New Haven.

"In today's news," Mark continued. "Temperatures will reach 120 degrees fahrenheit, today. For those of you who don't know, that's quite hot and you should put a decent helping of sunscreen over your pale, pale, bodies. Unless of course, you're not pale, in which you can probably get away with wearing less or no sunscreen."

"Hairdresser Effie Trinket tells us today that all that humidity isn't good for your hair, and you should come into her salon and let her treat it if at all possible. If not please soak your hair in mayonnaise for thirty minutes and then wash it out with a cold shower."

"In other news, we're all going to die. It may be sooner rather than later, or later rather than sooner. No one knows, and no one knows if it matters. Some of us are striving to die while others are putting it off, at least for the moment. My personal motto is "Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well," Mark said. "Of course, I'm not a girl, bad, or truly living."

"And now for one of my favourite segments, who looked the hottest today, according to me, Mark Smith. Today's segment will be the top ten revealed in reverse order."

"The number ten on the most attractive list today was Finnick Odair, always fetching. I think what I like best about him is his smile. Number nine was Effie Trinket, always looking dressed to the Nines! Get it?" Mark laughed at his own joke, because no one else would.

"Coming in at eighth place, neighbourhood whore Jamie Atwood. Isn't he cute? I think he's cute. Now, who else is there? Okay, number seven, my good friend Andy Adams. Always with a smile on his face. Either that or a look of confusion."

"In sixth place, we have Wanda Maximoff. Somehow she can pull off thick eyeliner while not frightening me, which is a hard thing to do. Fifth place, Steve Rogers. He's beautiful, all american, and so muscular. Oh my God, look at those muscles."

"In fourth place, according to me, Mark Smith the fourth most attractive person in New Haven is Nani Pelekai, the Hawaiian Goddess. God, she is gorgeous!"

"In third place, Gale Hawthorne. Well, I think we all know that's self explanatory. But you may be wondering who exactly outranked Gale Hawthorne today?"

"In second place, Josh Rao. As you know, my best friend and a personal favourite of mine. He usually ranks first, but today there is someone new in town. Someone who takes first place."

"This mysterious newcomer looks shockingly similar to Gale Hawthorne, however he is older, far more mysterious, and has a beard that makes me feel aroused and confused at the same time. Who is this mysterious newcomer? Why has he come to New Haven No one knows. But there is only one thing that's for sure, something interesting is about to happen in New Haven."

\---

"That's ridiculous," Steve said to his partner Peter. They were both cop partners and life partners. "How come Jamie made the list of ten hottest and you didn't? You look virtually identical."

"Are you saying I look the same as the neighbourhood whore?" Peter asked. He knew the answer was yes. They were identical twins. It was quite awkward, being a police officer and looking the same as Jamie.

"Peter, I can't help that you're identical twins," Steve said. "Nor can I help your brother's life choices."

Fortunately, since almost everyone had fallen off the face of the earth, the laws of the town were decided by the town, and unanimously the town voted that prostitution would be legal, so Peter didn't have to arrest his brother, and Steve didn't have to arrest his brother in law.

"Anyway, I think we should check out the newcomer," Peter said. "That seems like the sort of job a police officer would do, right?"

"It seems like a good idea."

\---

"This is an outrage," Josh Rao said. He was half Indian and half Canadian and one hundred percent sex God. "I placed second on the list?"

"Yes, second," Mark told him. "I'm sorry. But you didn't see this guy."

"I'm going to do more than see him," Josh said. "I'm going to bang him. Where do I find him?" Josh asked.

Mark decided it would probably be for the best that Josh sleep with the mysterious stranger rather than himself. Mark was fairly plain in appearance, and fairly plain in personality and Josh was a shining star worthy of the mysterious stranger's love, Mark assumed.

"He lives on fifth street," Mark said.

"Fifth street," Josh said. "That's the worst part of town."

In New Haven there were exactly five streets, ranked from best to worst. First street was also known as main street and all the other roads intersected it.

Josh lived on main street in the apartment complex. He shared an apartment with his best friend with benefits, Andy. Andy was not only his best friend, _with benefits_ he was Josh's _best friend with benefits_. There was a subtle difference there.

There were sixteen apartments, and Mark lived in a separate one in the same building.

"Do you want me to show you where he lives or what?" Mark asked,

"Show me, Mark. Show me the light," Josh said dramatically. Josh said everything dramatically.

"Okay, but first there's something I've got to tell you," Mark said.

"What?"

"He doesn't live there alone."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I've been posting this on wattpad but it has come to my attention that it would be more convenient for some of my readers to read on here so I'm going to post nine chapters all at once, sorry if that's annoying.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town there were two newcomers, Hoby Cotton and Skye Fargo. Skye was the mysterious newcomer that looked suspiciously like Gale Hawthorne, but with a beard that made people feel aroused and confused at the same time.

The pair of them had walked there to New Haven, carrying a backpack each. They had packed light. They had bought a house with a handful of cash and now were sitting in it.

"Do you like it here?" Hoby asked.

"I like it just fine," Fargo asked, although he hadn't formed much of an opinion just yet. He liked being called Fargo, and didn't like being called Skye. Once many moons ago when he had met Hoby, Hoby had asked "Your parents named you after the Sky?"

Fargo didn't remember his parents.

"Do you want to take a nap?" Hoby asked.

"A real nap or a nap?" Fargo asked, putting quotation marks around the second one.

"I don't know, whichever, I guess. I'm not picky," Hoby said.

Fargo didn't know what that meant. "Okay, I wouldn't mind lying down for a bit."

"Did this house come with a bed?" Hoby asked.

"Yeah, it's furnished. It's got gross old furniture," Fargo said.

"You're gross and old, too," Hoby said.

"That's why I like it," Fargo said. He didn't mention that Hoby was old and gross, too. Far older than his teenage appearance suggested.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Fargo went over to open the door.

“Fargo,” Hoby said, pulling on Fargo’s wrist. “Ignore it, I’ve got a better idea.”

\---

Clove and Foxface were also having some pretty great gay sex at pretty much the same time. In the apocalypse, people saved only a few personal possessions. Clove had saved a double sided strap-on. She had not regretted the decision since.

When they finished they laid back on the bed, their chests heaving.

“I’ve got a bad feeling,” Foxface said.

“What?” Clove said. “I thought I did a pretty good job.”

“No, I mean I have a sense of foreboding.”

“Oh, cool like a psychic thing?” Clove asked.

“Yes, but it’s a bad feeling,” Foxface said, stressing the important part. “Like something bad is going to happen.”

“Well, that’s less than ideal,” Clove said.  
\---

Katniss and Prim's mother had died in a freak accident. Their father had died years before in a different freak accident. As a result Katniss was a nervous and unhappy girl, but Prim went in the opposite direction. Katniss was now twenty, and Prim was sixteen. Yet, Prim had a job as a nurse practitioner, and Katniss had no job yet to speak of.

The pair of them lived with Johanna Mason, who did a fair bit towards paying their bills. No one was really sure what Johanna Mason did for a living, other than that she would leave the house for five or fifteen hours at a time and come back with money.

Prim sighed. "I don't know what I'll do at work today," she told Katniss. "Hardly anyone is left to get sick."

"I'm sure someone will get sick soon," Katniss said, trying to comfort her sister.

Johanna was on one of her jobs and the two of them were eating breakfast together.

"Do you want to turn the radio on?" Prim asked.

"Maybe," Katniss said. "Who is hosting?"

There were six hosts of the radio show, and they each worked four hours everyday so that the station was running twenty four seven. The hours switched sometimes randomly. Mark, Andy, Josh, Nani, Lisa, and Isaac were the hosts. Some Katniss preferred over others, although she always liked to hear the news. Josh didn't really report on the kind of news she was interested in, however.

"I think it's Nani," Prim said.

"Alright, we can listen for a bit," Katniss said.

Prim went and turned the radio on. It was still about half an hour until she had to go to work, and since she worked on first street and lived on first street it didn't take much time to get there at all.

"Josh has just informed me that there is a new contest on our radio station today! How exciting. It's been so long since our last contest," Nani yammered on. "The prize is very exciting, but a mystery until someone claims it."

"I bet the prize is horrible," Katniss said to Prim.

"By now I'm sure you've all heard about the newcomers to town, the mysterious man that looks suspiciously like Gale with a great beard, and his younger less attractive friend."

"There's someone else that looks like Gale?" Katniss asked.

Prim shushed her, wanting to hear what the contest was about.

"The first person to sleep with mysterious sexy beard Gale lookalike will win the contest and receive the mystery prize, so feel free to throw your hat into the ring! Many will try, but only one can win."

Prim, who had no desire to compete in that kind of competition, stopped listening to the radio. "Yeah, there's a new couple that moved in on fifth street. One really does look like he could be Gale's brother. I think the other one might be his son, but I'm not sure. They don't really look related."

"Maybe he's related to Gale," Katniss suggested.

"That would make sense," Prim agreed. "It's probably isn't true though, because that would involve a long and complicated backstory.”

\---


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m supposed to inform you all about that dumbass competition to see who can bang the new white guy. Well, anyway the contest is still going and no one has banged him yet,” Isaac said into the microphone. He wasn’t as upbeat as some of the other radio hosts (cough, Mark, cough) but he had been a musician before… the incident and he still had some fondness for the radio. “If you haven’t been paying attention, then you wouldn’t know that unfortunately the only music we have to play is from Josh’s iPod so let me apologize for the shitty selection… But now listen up to one song that has special meaning to me. It’s by TLC, and it’s called No Scrubs.”

This was a dig at Josh who together with Mark and Andy had been in a famous boy band called The Scrubs. Josh who was listening at his apartment did not get that Isaac was dissing him and instead started singing along to TLC.

On the outskirts of town, Gale turned the radio off angrily. He had heard enough TLC for a lifetime in this godforsaken town.

“Do you think I should grow a beard?” Gale asked Clove. She was wielding an axe and twirling it around like it was nothing.

“Well, you are a lumberjack after all,” Clove said. “Come on, it’s time to murder some trees.”

“I should have been a hunter,” Gale said.

“Yeah, I sort of wanted to be a hunter, too,” Clove admitted. “But now I have an excuse to wear plaid flannel and look even more like a lesbian.”

“You just like that they gave you an axe,” Gale said.

“Hey, hey, Gale. Do you have an axe to grind with me?” Clove said, proud of her pun.

“Clove, can we be real for a second?” Gale asked.

“Sure, I can be real,” Clove said.

“Do you think that maybe that guy everyone says looks like me might be my dad?” Gale asked.

\---

“Hey, Fargo,” Hoby said. “We can get radio out here.”

“Really?” Fargo asked from the kitchen. He was in the process of slaughtering several birds. He left them on the kitchen counter and went into the living room.

“They’re talking about a mysterious newcomer with a sexy beard, I bet that’s you,’ Hoby said.  
Fargo listened to an unenthusiastic man on the radio talking about a contest. Who could sleep with “the mysterious newcomer” first. What kind of town was this?

“Well, I guess you better go claim your prize then,” Fargo said.

“Don’t I gotta sleep with you first?” Hoby asked.

“You’ve slept with me a million times, Hoby.”

“Not since I heard about the contest, though,” Hoby said.

Fargo wasn’t sure if Hoby was actually worried about the semantics of the contest or if he just was trying to get laid, either way it was probably just easier to fuck him.

“Leave me like, a really gross hickey so people believe me,” Hoby said

“Yessir,” Fargo said, picking him up and carrying him to the bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

“Okay, everyone I’m Josh Rao and I’ve got a special surprise for you guys today.” A few of the citizens of New Haven turned their radios off at this point. “I am sitting here about to interview this dude who says he’s slept with the mysterious newcomer. Now, please sir, tell us your story.”

Sir? Hoby couldn’t recall any time in his life someone had called him sir. “Yeah, that’s Fargo, we’re married.”

“Wow, married. What a twist!” Josh said. “I’m sorry to point this out, but he is vastly more attractive than you. How did you bag him?”

“Dunno. I must be really good at sucking dick or something,” Hoby said.

“Me, too, friend. Me, too,” Josh said.

\---

There was one restaurant in town, called Abernathy’s. It was owned by Haymitch Abernathy, his wife, his two sons, and one of his son’s wives. None of them shared the name Abernathy with Haymitch. Effie Trinket kept her own name when she married Haymitch, because frankly it was a lot catchier than Effie Abernathy. Finnick went with his biological father’s name “Odair,” although Finnick hadn’t seen Karl Odair since he was five years old. Peeta was Haymitch’s biological son from his first marriage. Peeta’s biological mother Krystal Mellark had committed suicide while Peeta was an infant, and none of the family liked to talk about it. Still, they were a happy family now, as happy as could be expected of them.

Peeta was a gifted baker and was in charge of making all the baked goods at the restaurant. Haymitch was the chef. Finnick and Annie served tables and helped however they could, and Kat was also a waitress there although she wasn’t related to any of them. Kat sometimes felt like she didn’t belong at the restaurant, but many of New Haven’s citizens felt they didn’t belong in their jobs. Some even whispered in dark corners that the jobs were decided “pseudo-randomly.”

The jobs had all been assigned by the town mayor, Tony Stark. In some corners of town people whispered about how strange it was that he was in charge of jobs and left Jamie Atwood, one of his two sons with the job “neighborhood whore.”

Jamie loved his job. It fit his skill set and wasn’t very hard. It was actually kind of fun. While Gale and Clove were chopping wood, while Thresh, Cato, and Jamie’s sister Ches were breaking their backs farming, Jamie was getting high in his apartment at 3pm shortly after waking up for the first time that day.

There was a knock on the Jamie’s door and he hoped it was a client rather than a relative. He opened the door while still wearing nothing but his underwear.

It was neither. At the door was Sharon Carter, which made Jamie wish he had put on pants. Sharon’s job in town was a vague job called “supervisor”. Sam Wilson had the same title, but was less intimidating, at least to Jamie.

“Sharon,” he said, trying to be polite.

“Hello, Jamie,” Sharon said. “How’s your work going?”

“It’s not work if you’re doing what you love,” Jamie said and then immediately regretted it. She had never asked about his work before and as far as he knew her supervising was limited to more productive professions. Seeing if they had enough food, etc.

“I was hoping for something more specific, Jamie,” Sharon said.

“You know this is really fucked up, right?” Jamie said. “Are you going to tell my dad?” Jamie put air quotes around the word “dad” as he hadn’t even known Tony until a couple of years ago and Tony Stark didn’t exactly scream father figure.

Sharon shook her head. “I just need to know if anything...went wrong.”

“No injuries or diseases were sustained if that’s what you mean,” Jamie said.

“Well, specifically, I’m supposed to ask if you worked with either of the new citizens. It’s very important for health reasons,” Sharon said.

“Oh, shit do they have AIDS or something?” Jamie asked. “Nah, they haven’t shown any interest in my business.”

“Okay, good,” Sharon said. “That’s really all I needed to ask.”

“Wait…” Jamie said. “Is this like my dad’s fucked up way of checking up on me?”

“Yeah,” Sharon said, turning to leave. “I think so.”

\---

“That was unbelievably awkward, but Jamie says he hasn’t slept with any of the newbies,” Sharon said to Steve. She was standing in his kitchen and sipping black coffee.

“That’s good, I guess. If we can believe him,” Steve said.  
“Steve, I still care about you and that’s why I’m saying this. You’re not making some great choices, here,” Sharon said. “I mean how is it going to look if Peter finds out you’re hiding things from him? I mean, I don’t know what you’re hiding but I mean it doesn’t look good the fact that you’re avoiding him and hanging out with your ex-wife. Not to mention getting me to interrogate his brother.”

“Sharon, it’s not like that,” Steve said. “It’s just…”

“What is it Steve? Tell me. Or better yet, tell Peter,” Sharon suggested.

“It’s just I know these guys. The newbies. And I’d rather not get into it,” Steve said.

“Well, that doesn’t sound sketchy at all,” Sharon said, sipping at her coffee.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony and Rhodey’s house was the nicest in New Haven, which in Tony’s opinion wasn’t saying much. But he still had a nice office, the kind with a desk and a swivel chair to intimidate people who came in for appointments. But today it was Natasha Romanoff that paid him a visit, and she wasn’t the sort to be intimidated by anyone.

“Did you hear about the newcomers?” Natasha asked. Everyone in town was obsessed with them, but Tony was more obsessed with himself.

“No. Newcomers? Where would they have come from? How could they have…” Tony trailed off, he knew Natasha would get the gist of what he was saying.

“I have no idea. Two men came and the taller one gave me money for a house on fifth street. Real US dollars. It was adorable,” Natasha said.

US dollars had no value in New Haven.

“How very nice of you,” Tony said. He couldn’t understand how this happened.

“But I was thinking,” she continued. “I mean I gave them a house on fifth street, no real value was the only reason I let them pay with US dollars,” Natasha said. “But perhaps we should make them earn their keep?”

“You forget that I’m the mayor, and you’re simply a slumlord,” Tony said.

“That’s why I came to you,” Natasha said. Slumlord in this instance roughly translated to landlord who was in charge of maintenance of all the houses and apartments in New Haven. “It doesn’t seem fair that they’re living here without working like the rest of us.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Tony said. “What kind of jobs would you suggest?”

\---

“Hello, and welcome to New Haven Radio. “I’m Lisa and I have a special message to Fargo and Hoby our newcomers, if they’re listening. Please report to Stark Mansion on First Street as soon as possible. I’m going to play for you some Janet Jackson, but first I would like to read you one of my original poems.”

“Despair. Despair. Bleak. Black. Darkness. The void. I cry out in vain, in despair. Despair.”

“Thanks for listening, that poem was called Despair, and now Nasty by Janet Jackson.”

Margot, was sitting in the Abernathy’s, eating fries and sitting next across from James Seberg. People tended to call him “James Seberg” to distinguish him from “Jamie the Neighborhood Whore.” Margot and James Seberg were two of the saltiest people in town, which was probably why they got along so well.

“God, Lisa must be in a mood,” James Seberg said. “That poem was awful.”

Margot glared at James slightly. Though Margot was pretty bitchy, Lisa was her roommate. Also as a card carrying emo, Margot knew that every true emo went through at least three poetry phases in their life.

“What? It was,” James said. “Okay, okay. Let’s bitch about someone else then. Take your pick.”

“How about the vampires?” Margot said. “I’m sick of hearing about them.”

“Vampires?” James said, pretending he knew nothing of the subject.. “You think Fargo and Hoby are vampires?”

Margot nodded. “I can feel it. And a lot of other fuckedupness in their auras.” Margot was a witch and could generally read auras, but for some reason Fargo and Hoby’s auras appeared much stronger to her. And the other weird thing was that their auras were exactly the same.

“Interesting,” James said, pretending this was brand new information.

\---

Peter sat in Jamie’s apartment, in a mood. Steve had been not exactly avoiding him, but not exactly normal either. He didn’t really feel like going home just then, so instead he was getting high with Jamie.

“This place sucks,” Peter said. “There’s no buildings tall enough to swing from.”

“Well, I guess your powers are pretty useless now, Spiderman,” Jamie said. At one point he had been jealous of Peter’s abilities. “Do you jizz spiderwebs? I’m just curious.”

Peter didn’t answer, which Jamie took as an affirmative.

“Hey, do you know anything about those new guys?” Jamie asked. “Sharon came asking me about them.”

“I don’t know anything at all about them,” Peter said. He suspected Steve knew more than he did, but he wasn’t sure why Steve wasn’t willing to share this information. “Why does Sharon care?”

Jamie was a total loudmouth, and also he told his brother everything. “Apparently I’m not supposed to bang them for quote health reasons end quote.”

Although Peter was high off his ass, he put on his metaphorical police cap. “What does Sharon know? You know, as a cop I should be in the loop about these things.”

“Dunno,” Jamie said. “Dad sent her.” Or at least that was what Jamie had interpreted.

“Shit,” Peter said. “Am I legally allowed to interrogate the mayor?”

“I don’t know. Who the fuck understands the rules in this godforsaken town, anyway?”

“Not me, that’s for sure,” Peter said.


	6. Chapter 6

Not everyone in New Haven had a job. Aside from Hoby and Fargo who had yet to be assigned jobs, Bucky, Wanda, and Katniss seemed to get away without jobs. Steve had convinced Tony to give Wanda a little slack, and Steve himself took care of Bucky’s finances.

However, Steve wasn’t aware of how Bucky liked to spend his money. Bucky had a habit of spending his money on Jamie’s company.

Jamie lived across the hall from Bucky, and he was almost always there when Bucky needed him. Still, every time Bucky knocked on Jamie’s door, he felt nervous.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. Bucky just needed the practice. It had been such a long time.

Bucky remembered that first time Jamie was in his bedroom. Bucky had been sweating bullets. He didn't think he could go through with it. Jamie sat on the edge of Bucky’s bed, just waiting. Just a young boy, 20 years old.

“Do you want to…” Jamie started.

“I think maybe we shouldn't,” Bucky said.

“Because of Steve?” Jamie asked.

“No,” Bucky said. “But now that you mention it…”

“Because you're scared?” Jamie asked.

Bucky didn't want to say yes, but it was true. He was afraid of hurting people. Mostly physically. He knew what he was capable of.

He said nothing.

“Want to play a game?”

“OK.”

“Take off your shirt,” Jamie told him.

Reluctantly Bucky agreed, taking off his grey t-shirt. “Lie down,” Jamie told him.

Normally Bucky didn't like to be told what to do, but now his heart was beating fast and he wasn't sure how he felt. He became aware that he was getting hard already.

“It's okay,” Jamie said, and he pushed Bucky slightly back on the bed. “Lie down,” he repeated.

Bucky laid down and Jamie crawled on top of him and kissed him. Bucky was surprised to feel Jamie’s body stiff against his. For a long time they just stayed there, making out like they were teenagers. And then...

“Bucky?”

Bucky realized that he was in front of Jamie’s door, just thinking. He hadn't knocked, he just stood there like some kind of brain damaged stalker. Now Jamie had opened the door and looked at him with worry.

“Do you want to come in?” Jamie asked.

“OK.”

\---

It was Andy hosting the radio station that day, which meant more actual music than usual. Andy didn't have much interest in filling the silence with gossip, but he would pass along the real news. “If Fargo and Hoby are listening they are supposed to go to Stark Mansion as soon as they can. And now the Backstreet Boys.”

“Stark Mansion,” Hoby said. “What kind of douchebag named their mansion?”

“Tony Stark. He's mayor, I hear,” Fargo said.

“Fuck that, I don't wanna go,” Hoby said.

“He's Iron Man,” Fargo added.

Hoby muttered something incoherently.

“You want to go meet Iron Man?” Fargo asked.

“Yeah,” Hoby said.

\---

Sam and Isaac sat down on bar stools at Abernathys. The liquor cabinet was always mysteriously well stocked there, though the food mostly came from what was hunted and farmed. The joy of whiskey. It never went bad.

“I'm feeling as my fellow radio host Lisa would say despair,” Isaac told Sam.

“We all feel that way sometimes,” Sam said vaguely. He didn't want to get into the area of things they weren't allowed to talk about.

Freedom of speech? Not in New Haven.

“Man, I just wish I had someone to suck my dick at the end of the day sometimes. You know, someone other than Jamie,” Isaac said. He was well aware that Jamie was willing to make that sacrifice. But Isaac wasn't willing to sacrifice his own dignity, which meant that there weren't that many options in New Haven.

Sam appeared to be thinking. “Nani, maybe?” Nani was quite a bit younger than Isaac, but she seemed like a nice normal girl. Not taken. Not crazy.

Isaac thought about this. It didn't seem like a bad idea.

But his thoughts were interrupted by James Seberg, who wrapped an arm around him and said, “I heard you were looking for me.”

“James,” Isaac said, sighing. “Not now.”

James might have been a good match for Isaac if they were sexually compatible, had compatible personalities, or James wasn't constantly blatantly racist to Isaac’s face.

“Looks like you have an offer,” Sam said sipping a screwdriver out of a curly straw.

James and Isaac were both over six feet tall and Isaac didn't want to start a fight a get kicked out. “Not interested,” Isaac said.

“I'll let you top,” James said.

“I’ll get back to you,” Isaac said.

“Take that as a solid maybe,” Sam said, patting James on the shoulder as James left.

\---

“Okay, but can I address the elephant in the room?” Clove asked. Her and Foxface were hosting a small party, with guests including Gale, Marvel, Cato, Glimmer, and Peeta.”

“Clove, I know I've gained weight but calling me an elephant is just rude,” Marvel said.

“You look beautiful,” Clove told Marvel, who was her best friend other than Marissa/Foxface, partially because they both had a dumb sense of humor. “No, I mean everyone’s saying how this Fargo guy looks like Gale. But has anyone noticed the Hoby one looks suspiciously like Cato?”

“I've never seen either of them,” Cato said. He was stuck as a farmer and rarely had time to mingle.

“Neither have I,” Gale said. “But I've just heard about the Fargo one looking like me.”

“The older one looks like you,” Glimmer told Gale.

“I've seen both,” Marvel said. “And the rumors are true.”

“One could be a coincidence,” Clove said. “Two doppelgängers is not a coincidence.”

Clove was paying so much attention to her conspiracy theory, she didn't notice that Marissa was looking pale and sickly as she was cutting carrots. Clove didn't notice until Marissa fainted, hitting her head on the counter before falling to the ground.

Immediately Clove and Marvel were at Marissa’s side. Clove shook Marissa’s shoulders vigorously. “Wake up!” she said angrily. “Wake up!”

Marissa did not seem to be waking up however.

“Dammit!” Clove yelled.

Marvel felt Foxface’s throat. “She's breathing. She's got a pulse. We've got to get her to Prim.”


	7. Chapter 7

Cato carried Marissa to Prim’s house, which was relatively close. Marvel and Clove went with him, but Glimmer and Gale stayed back not wanting to many people to overwhelm Prim.

Prim's job was nurse practitioner and though she was extremely well read for sixteen she was not a qualified doctor. There was only one qualified medical doctor in town, and she was currently unconscious on Prim’s table.

Clove had reacted in a kind of angry panic, but Prim and Marvel were somewhat calming her down with their steady assurances.

Foxface’s eyes opened for a minute. Clove grasped her hand and demanded that she speak. Marissa made a strange groaning noise before closing her eyes again and rolling over.

Prim checked her pulse. “She seems to be having normal sleep now rather than being unnaturally unconscious. I suspect she has a concussion but will be better in a few days.”

Marvel smiled at Clove. “That's good news.”

“Why did she pass out in the first place?” Clove pressed on.

“Most common causes are dehydration, stress, and poor eating,” Prim said. “I'll try waking her up periodically to see how she's doing and if she can get some fluids down.”

“Fuck,” Clove said. “What happened Marissa?”

\---

Hoby Cotton knocked on the door to “Stark Mansion” which he now thought of as Iron Man’s house. Fargo stood next to him.

A pretty girl welcomed them in with a smile that Fargo noticed was forced. Hoby didn't notice this.

“Hello, I'm Wanda and welcome to New Haven. The mayor Tony Stark would like to speak with you.”

Wanda brought them to that office with the swivel chair. Tony turned around like some super villain rather than a superhero.

Rhodey stood at the side of the room and welcomed them, shaking their hands. At least Fargo’s hand. Hoby didn't let Rhodey shake his hand.

Fargo felt underdressed. Both Rhodey and Tony were dressed in suits and Fargo had been wearing the same outfit for a week.

“Hello. I'm Tony Stark the mayor of New Haven, I didn't catch your names.”

“If you didn't catch our names then how come you asked for us by name on the radio?” Hoby asked.

“Your full names,” Tony said, correcting himself abruptly.

“I'm Skye Fargo. This is my husband Hoby Cotton.”

“Married,” Tony said. “How old are you, Hoby Cotton?”

Hoby looked up at Fargo as if to ask what he was supposed to say.

“He’s a hundred and sixty-eight,” Fargo said. “We're vampires.” He hoped he wouldn't regret saying that. “I'm about twenty years older than him.”

Tony looked at Rhodey with an expression that said something along the lines of “what the fuck am I supposed to do about this?”

“We've got True Blood,” Fargo added. True Blood was a synthetic alternative to drinking real blood. And there was animal blood, too. They had lived off of less for longer.

“Are you saying you’re not a threat?” Tony asked.

“That's exactly what I'm saying,” Fargo said.

Tony appeared to be thinking for a moment. “We have means of making more True Blood, it should be sustainable for some time. I'm assuming since you're coming forward with this information you're not hostile. However, New Haven might not be like the communities you're used to.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Stark,” Fargo said. “I've been around the block.”

“Yes, be that as it may,” Tony looked at Rhodey again. He felt like he was losing control of the room.

Rhodey, his husband and second in command stepped in. “He means everyone in New Haven is required to be employed in an area they are capable of. We have to all participate in order for the system to work so we can all reap the benefits.”

Fargo glared at Rhodey. “Communism? I wonder what your good friend Captain America thinks about that.”

\---

Like all societies, whether founded on the principles of Communism or not New Haven was not a society of egalitarianism.

There were classes and statuses despite the attempt to assign everyone an equal amount of resources. This could clearly be seen by the two mansions on First Street, one that was Tony’s headquarters, the other inhabited by Bella Harper and Andrew Key.

Andrew Key was a suspicious figure that had mass wealth and knowledge before he lived in New Haven, and now that he was here no one was really sure what he did. He rarely emerged from the house.

Bella, Andrew’s wife and previously Andrew’s stepsister before the incident left the house somewhat more often. She was slightly less frightening than Andrew but vastly more emotional. Her presence around town wasn't entirely welcome. While some people, mainly Natasha found her an acceptable acquaintance, others had a bone to pick with her. Most notably her ex-boyfriend Isaac whom she had left for her stepbrother. Oops.

Today, both Andrew and Bella left their mansion. Bella wore sunglasses and a large summer hat, perhaps to look like a celebrity or perhaps to shield her pale skin from the harsh heat and sun. Both wore all black.

They stepped into the restaurant like they were something special and found a booth. Isaac who happened to be drinking at the bar couldn't help but go over to them. “Bella, Andrew. Are you attending a funeral or are were just wearing black because it’s the color of your souls?”

“The latter,” Andrew said.

“Well, once you go black you never go back,” Isaac said.

“I don't think that’s true,” Andrew said. “Doesn't sound like a real thing to me. Does it sound real to you, Bella?”

Bella’s eyes widened but it wasn't noticeable underneath her sunglasses. Since she had dated Isaac and indeed when back to Andrew rich white guy™ she had no choice but to shrug and say, “Guess it's not a real thing.”

“Let's just be real,” Isaac said. “I'm bigger.” He wasn't normally quite that petty, but Andrew was an asshole.

Bella took off her sunglasses now and stared into Isaac’s eyes. “You maybe have an inch on him Karpos but you can't begin to please me like he does.”

Isaac decided it was time to walk away. “Whatever. Later, psychopaths.”


	8. Chapter 8

Since Fargo had a sick beard and killer muscles, Tony decided he would make a good lumberjack. Also, it would be interesting to put him next to Gale and see what happened.

Fargo looked at Gale, Gale looked at Fargo. Fargo’s expression remained blank though internally he was thinking, “Oh, shit.”

“I mean, I guess you look similar…” Gale said.

“What's your mother’s name?” Fargo asked. It had to be a coincidence, right?

“Hazelle Hawthorne,” Gale said.

“Hazelle with two Ls and two Es?” Fargo asked.

“Yes.”

Fargo said nothing.

“You're saying you're my dad?” Gale asked.

“I don't know. I've got to be… But that means…” Fargo didn't want to think about that too hard. He was a vampire, he couldn't have kids. At least he was operating under that theory which meant he hadn't been careful. He could have hundreds of kids. Grandkids. Great-grandkids, even. Not that they would be alive now…

“Oh, God,” Fargo said.

\---

Clove stayed with Foxface all night, with Prim watching over her shoulder. Clove felt mad. When things happened she couldn't control. It was her natural tendency to get mad. Anger was better than suffering.

Marissa stirred and rolled over to face Clove. She opened her eyes and appeared alert.

“Drink some water,” Clove commanded.

Marissa sipped at the water. “I'm feeling better. I just hit my head, I need some sleep.”

“Prim said you might be dehydrated,” Clove said. “Were you feeling sick when you passed out?”

Foxface shook her head. “No, I was having a vision.”

Clove frowned. “What kind of vision?”

“You were saying there was a guy who looked like Cato,” Foxface said. “And then I just saw this scene. It didn't make any sense. There was the man, the one that looks like Gale. Fargo. And there were two guys that looked like Cato. Fargo shot both of them. But it looked like it happened a really long time ago. Like in the old West or something.”

“Well, I hear the newbies… Fargo and Hoby… they might be vampires. Maybe they were alive back then,” Clove said.

“There were boys that looked like Cato. But they weren't Cato,” Foxface said. “Why would I see that? And Fargo looked really dangerous. Like evil.”

Clove thought for a moment. “You think he's going to kill someone or something?”

“Or something,” Marissa said.

“I guess this is what that bad feeling was all about,” Clove said. “But what do we do about it?”

\---

Fargo went home that day feeling emotionally exhausted. He intended to go lie down, but he had a sense of foreboding before he even walked through the door. A sense of foreboding meaning that he heard his husband crying and didn't particularly want to deal with it.

Hoby was crying loudly even if Fargo wasn't particularly susceptible to Hoby’s feelings. Fargo knocked on the bedroom. “Hoby? What’s wrong?”

“Go away!” Hoby yelled.

“Hoby, it's my bedroom too and I want to lie down,” Fargo said.

“Leave me alone,” Hoby said.

“Babe, I'm not leaving just tell me what's wrong,” Fargo said. He wondered if the rumour mill had gotten back to Hoby about Gale being his son. That probably wouldn't make Hoby bawl like that.

Hoby switched to soft sobs and then stayed quiet for a long time. Fargo sat outside the door and waited.

“Fargo?”

“Yes?”

“I had a bad day,” Hoby said.

“Me, too, hon.”


	9. Chapter 9

“What kind of town has non-optional birthday parties?” Hoby grumbled.

“This one, apparently,” Fargo said. “I hope we don't need a present.”

“God, it's like we're straight people attending parties together,” Hoby said.

“I'm not really sure why you find the idea of going to a party with me repulsive,” Fargo said.

“It's not you, it's the other people,” Hoby explained.

“Well, don't I feel special then?” Fargo said, kissing Hoby on the forehead.

Hoby groaned like he hated it, but he didn't. “They're watching.”

They in this case was the entire town. There was around fifty people in Abernathys, where the party was taking place. People mostly congealed in groups or pairs. Rue, the birthday girl was turning sixteen. She wore a tiara her brother Isaac gave her and mingled with a smile on her face.

Fargo looked at Tony Stark at what looked like the VIP table with his husband Rhodey, Steve Rogers, and a young man that he didn't recognize. Fargo caught Steve’s eye just for a second.

Isaac was just about to let the Bella and Andrew shit slide, it was his little sister’s birthday and he had to pretend like he was having a good time. Bella stood up to say a few words. Though she was small, she commanded the attention of the room, perhaps because her voice was so shrill.

“Hello, everyone! Welcome to Rue’s sweet sixteen. I'm Bella Harper Key, and I've arranged just a small surprise for Rue’s birthday. Ladies and gentlemen, Rue’s favourite band, New Haven’s very own Scrubs!”

“That’s because they’re the only band,” Isaac muttered. His music was better, but he was a solo artist. He should be the one singing.

“You and I could make a band,” James said, unnervingly popping out of nowhere. “We could be called Ginger and Chocolate.”

“That’s a terrible name,” Isaac said. “Are you a musician?” He hadn’t thought of James as a musician, though he had heard James sing before.

“Yeah, I play the saxophone,” James said.

“Is that a joke? Are you going to say something like you like blowing horns?” Isaac said.  
“No, the saxophone is a woodwind, not a horn,” James said.

“Wow, you really play,” Isaac said. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst to have some saxophone backing up his music. It had worked for Jason Derulo. “Tenor?”

“No, bari,” James said. “I like the big ones.”

Isaac knew he was going to regret. “You wanna get out of here?”

\---


	10. Chapter 10

“I’m not going to work,” Hoby said.

“You have to,” Fargo said. Hoby had skated by without working for most of his lengthy life, and it was about time he earned his keep.

“I can’t,” Hoby said.

“Why not?” Fargo asked.

“He looks like Semple,” Hoby said.

Semple Cotton, Hoby’s brother. Hoby’s brother that Fargo had shot in the head. Killed in an instant. Okay, but Fargo had a good reason.

“I’m sorry,” Fargo said. “Who looks like Semple?”

“This guy Cato, I’m supposed to work with him,” Hoby said. He had been sent to the farm to work with Cato, Thresh, and Ches. “He looks just like Semple.”

“About that…” Fargo said.

“What about that?” Hoby asked.

“Umm… Well, I met someone, too,” Fargo started.

“Well, why don’t you go marry them?” Hoby grumbled.

“No, not like that. He’s my son,” Fargo said. “He looks just like me. So uh… maybe this Cato guy is related to you,”

“No, he’s not,” Hoby said. “I know how to cover my stump before I hump. He’s Semple reincarnated, I’m sure of it.”

“Do you even believe in reincarnation?” Fargo asked.

“Sure, why not? If we can be vampires, then Semple can be reincarnated,” Hoby said.

“About that…” Fargo started.

“What?” Hoby said, visibly getting frustrated at this point.

“Semple can’t be reincarnated,” Fargo said. “He’s not dead.”

\---

Peter woke up and for a moment couldn't remember where he was. Then he recognizes that it's Jamie’s apartment and he fell asleep on the couch half naked. He felt off, he wondered if he had more than pot and booze last night.

He took a leak and threw up and discovered that Jamie wasn't home. Out doing God knows what with God knows who.

None of my business, Peter thought. He wanted to go home and find Steve but he felt really sick. He wasn't sure he was going to be okay. He decided to lay on the cold kitchen floor for a while.

There was a knock on the door. It's Jamie coming to save me. Or Steve, Peter thought.

It was neither, but Bucky Barnes looking for Jamie. Peter opened the door.

“Jamie, you look awful,” Bucky said. “What did you take?”

“I don't know,” Peter said, ignoring the part where Bucky called him Jamie. It didn't seem important at the time. “I don't feel good.”

Things were a blur, but soon Peter was on Bucky’s couch wearing nothing but boxers. Bucky put a cold cloth on his forehead and a garbage can next to him in case he had to throw up. A glass of water sat on the table, but Peter hadn't touched it.

Peter threw up a couple more times before falling asleep and napping. When he woke up, he heard Steve’s voice at the door.

“Have you seen Peter? I'm really worried,” Steve said.

“No, I haven't seen him,” Bucky said.

This made no sense to Peter, who was still foggy. He came to the door and said, “I'm right here. I'm fine.” Although, he was only marginally better than before.

Steve looked at Peter, who was half naked and sweaty. Peter looked at his husband. Steve looked at Bucky, a look of loathing on his face, and then at Peter with a look of heartbreak. Bucky looked at Peter and then at Steve too confused to explain.

Jamie, you look awful.

Peter realized how things looked.

“I'm glad you're fine, Peter,” Steve said. “I'll leave you guys alone, then.”

\---

“A hundred and fifty five years,” Hoby said.

“You let me think my brother was dead for a hundred and fifty five years,” Hoby said in disbelief.

“Would it make you feel any better if I told you I didn't know the whole time?” Fargo asked.

“No, nothing is going to make me feel better,” Hoby said, he was packing his suitcase dramatically, which was actually a backpack with a handful of possessions.

“Hoby, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry,” Fargo said, quietly. “Where are you going?”

“I'm going to find Semple,” Hoby said.

Fargo could think of a million reasons why that was a bad idea, but none he could share to Hoby.

“Will you come back?” Fargo asked.

“No,” Hoby said.

“I love you.”

Hoby grabbed his backpack and left without another word.


	11. Chapter 11

The night before Peter had come to Jamie’s apartment around seven pm. They had some scotch and Jamie listened to Peter vent. Around ten, Peter fell asleep on the couch. Peter had only had a couple of glasses and was probably just exhausted. Jamie thought of waking him up to go home to Steve. But in his opinion it served Steve right to worry about Peter all night.

So Jamie left Peter on the couch to sleep it off, his twin brother snoring quietly and looking content. He had an appointment at twelve that night. Being the neighborhood whore, he didn’t keep regular hours.

He was supposed to meet Hoby Cotton. Sharon had told him not to “work” with him or that other guy Fargo for health reasons. Well, he hoped she didn’t know what she was talking about. He heard through the rumor mill they were vampires, which he was pretty sure meant they couldn’t give him STDs. Murder him, sure. But anyone could murder you if they felt like it.

They were supposed to meet on fourth street, which was just fine with Jamie. Although there were a few houses, the only person who actually lived on the street was James Seberg. Say what you want about Seberg, but he could be discrete if he wanted to be.

This was the sort of thing he couldn’t tell Peter, because this was probably exactly how horror movies would have started if there got to be gay prostitutes in horror movies. Jamie went to the house they were supposed to meet in and somehow felt relieved when he saw Hoby Cotton sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette.

“Hey,” Hoby said.

“Hey,” Jamie said. “So, was there anything you wanted specifically?”

Hoby sucked on his cigarette and exhaled a ring of smoke, appearing to be thinking. “I’m hungry,” he said.

Oh, shit, Jamie thought.

“Do you do that?” Hoby asked. “I’d just drink a bit. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Jamie couldn’t resist asking. “How will your make it worth it?”

“Wanna find out?”

\---

Somewhere between eleven pm and eight-thirty am, something had happened to Peter. He had been drugged, or he had taken drugs himself. He couldn’t remember.

Presently, he was sitting on the floor of Bucky’s apartment. Steve had left half an hour ago.

“I thought you were Jamie,” Bucky said for the hundredth time.

“It doesn’t matter,” Peter said. “We didn’t do anything anyway. I’ll talk to Steve later.”

Bucky had brought the garbage can over so that Peter could barf without having to move, an opportunity Peter had taken advantage of several times.

“I get that,” Bucky said. “But when I thought you were Jamie, I figured you were just hungover. But you’re not getting better and you’re smarter than Jamie about taking things.”

“Well, apparently I’m not,” Peter said. “Can I get some water.”

Bucky brought him some. “What did you take?”

“I don’t remember,” Peter said. “Where’s Jamie? He might know.”

“Do you think you can walk over to the doctor’s office if I can help you?” Bucky asked. “I don't’ think this is normal.”

“Probably no point,” Peter said. There medical supplies were somewhat limited. “I’ll just throw up until I feel better.”

“I’m going to see if Wanda is in her apartment,” Bucky said. “She could go get Marissa just to make sure.”

\---

Nani was manning the radio station today. “Hello, and welcome to New Haven Radio. I am supposed to ask Jamie Atwood and Ches Elswood.to report to the medical clinic as soon as possible.” She hadn’t been informed of the details, but had been told that something serious was going on. “And now another selection from Josh’s iPod. Un-break my Heart by Toni Braxton.”


	12. Chapter 12

Jamie and Hoby were lying on the floor of the vacant house on Fourth Street, buck naked and smoking Mary Jane.

“So, like do you go to the bathroom like people do or?” Jamie asked.

“Nah, I haven’t pissed in fifty years,” Hoby said. “Sometimes I throw up though. Turn on the radio, I want to hear the news.”

This town of New Haven was somewhat of an ideal place for Hoby Cotton. Born poor in 1846, he didn’t learn to read as a kid and had been too stubborn to since then. Here, reading wasn’t important at all. He didn’t have to watch TV, either. He much preferred the radio.

“Hello, and welcome to New Haven Radio. I am supposed to ask Jamie Atwood and Ches Elswood.to report to the medical clinic as soon as possible.”

“Shit,” Jamie said. “I’m Jamie Atwood.”

“I’d gathered that,” Hoby said. He was far less high than Jamie, having vamp abilities. Substance tolerance was one of the advantages and disadvantages. “Are you going to go?”

“Yeah, I guess I should,” Jamie said. “When they say that it usually means someone’s dying or something.” He threw his clothes back on and went to the clinic, feeling in distress and disarray.

Ches was already there. She looked concerned, but a lot more composed than Jamie did. “What happened?” he asked.

“It’s Peter,” Ches said. “We’re not supposed to go in right now, but he’s pretty sick.”

“Well, what’s the point of calling us here if we can’t see him?” Jamie said, frustratedly. “Where’s Steve?”

It dawned on Ches that she didn’t know, and that Steve should be there. “He’s not here. I don’t know if anyone told him.”

Marissa walked out of the examination room. She still had a nasty bump on her head, but Clove had aggressively made sure she slept and kept hydrated. Besides, it wasn’t her turn to be sick. “Hi, guys. He’s been awake and talking. He said he was with you last night, Jamie. Do you know what he took?”

“He didn’t take anything. We had some scotch,” Jamie said.

“Clearly,” Ches said. She wanted to kill her brother. She knew Jamie was irresponsible, but why did she have to drag Peter down with him? “What are you on, Jamie? I can tell when you’re strung out.”

“I’m on a lot of stuff,” Jamie said. “Peter didn’t have anything but scotch, and then he fell asleep. It must be something else.”

“For God’s sakes, Jamie!” Ches said. “Try to leave one of my brothers alive!”

“Actually,” Marissa said. “That’s about what Peter remembers, too. I suspect it’s a bad case of heat stroke, fluid loss, and stress. But the alcohol didn’t help any. Prim’s got him on an IV with fluids now and he’s sleeping, which is probably for the best. I believe he will be alright, but since his condition is so severe, it will take some time for him to recover fully.”

Jamie played the words over in his head a few times. They seemed to make sense to him. Peter was going to be okay.

“Where’s Steve?” Ches asked.

“Peter asked me not to tell Steve,” Marissa said.

\---

Steve was tearing apart logs with his bare hands.

“Well, fuck,” Gale said. “Why are Clove and I the lumberjacks if you can do that?”

“Would you rather be a cop?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Gale said.

“Great, I’ll trade you,” Steve said.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, being a cop,” Gale mused. “I like working with Clove, but my dad is sort of a fuckface.”

“Your dad?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Skye Fargo. Claims to have spawned me and since the resemblance is striking I figured I’d believe him,” Gale said.

“You know he’s a vampire, right?” Steve asked.

“Umm… no. But I mean, I guess that would explain how he hardly looks any older than I do. But...vampires can have kids?” Gale asked.

“Apparently. I’m sorry. Your dad is a fuckface,” Steve said, pulling apart more logs.

“What’s up, dude? You seem tense,” Gale said, slightly nervous that Steve was going to lash out at him.

“My husband and my best friend,” Steve said. “Found them together.”

“Some friend,” Gale said.

\---

Hoby decided he would go to work. How hard could farming be anyway?

There was a boy there. Cato Hadley, he said his name was. Nonsense. Hoby would know his brother Semple anywhere, even if they hadn’t seen each other in… well it was more than a hundred years. And now Fargo tells him that Semple was never even dead.

Betrayed.

By Fargo and Semple. The only two people he never thought would betray him. The only two people Hoby had ever given two cares about.

So Hoby went to see this boy Cato at the farm. This boy Semple. He didn’t have a plan of what to say or what to do, and maybe he just wanted to make Fargo mad.

All he knew was he saw Semple’s face and he was transported back to a time when all he cared about was having fun.


	13. Chapter 13

Wyoming, 1861

Hoby and Semple had set up camp in the wilderness. Hoby lit a fire “to keep them warm.” Semple might have thought something about lighting a fire in the middle of the night in the open while there was a price on their heads, but he didn't say anything.

The Cotton gang was down to two members now. That suited Hoby just fine. He didn't care much for the other guys, and he had been hoping to lose Granger his eldest brother for a while now. Semple listened better.

It was not yet an established cliche to run off in the sunset together, if in fact that was what they were doing.

Hoby considered it, but in the end chose a different option.

They waited. They sat at their makeshift camp and waited.

“Do you think maybe we should head out?” Semple asked.

“Nah, I don't feel like it,” Hoby said. “Let's stay here a bit.”

“That Fargo guy is coming for us,” Semple warned. He wasn't sure exactly why, but Fargo sure had his eye on the reward money. Wanted dead or alive, even before they robbed the bank. Even before Hoby had blown the bank teller’s brains out. Even after he kidnapped the sheriff’s secret dame.

In short, Hoby deserved being shot.

Semple hadn't killed nobody. A fact which had not escaped Hoby’s notice, but went unmentioned.

“What do you think it would be like to die?” Hoby asked. “Do you think it would be a relief? We could stop running.”

“Hoby, let's get out of here. We've got plenty of places to hide,” Semple said.

“Go on without me,” Hoby said. “I'm fixing to die, anyway.”

“Maybe I'll just stay a little longer,” Semple said.

\---

Present Day, New Haven

Hoby made his way to the farm. It was a horrible excuse for a farm. No livestock, just some plants. Wheat mostly. Well, bread isn't that great anyway.

He sat on the porch, waiting. The Nigerian looking fellow, Thresh was walking with Semple over to them. Semple looked awful. Sunburnt instead of the permanent tan Hoby remembered. And his clothing was ridiculous. The tight pants and the writing on his shirt…

As they got closer, Hoby realized. Those pants were exquisitely tight. Not only were they ugly but they revealed more about the boy’s anatomy than was proper.

That's not my brother, Hoby realized.

Thresh smiled at Hoby. “You here to work today? We could use an extra hand. Ches had a family emergency.”

“I heard,” Hoby said. “I ain't done much farming before.” He averted his gaze from the one they called Cato. The one he had confused with his brother.

“It's not so hard,” Thresh said. “Are you two related?” Thresh had been somewhat immune to the town gossip and wasn't aware that Hoby was a vampire or any of the other strange rumours going around.

Then it hit Hoby. “I'll bet he's my nephew.”

Thresh looked at the two of them. Cato looked at least five years older, but sometimes these things happened.

“I'm not related to you,” Cato said.

“Do you know my brother Semple?” Hoby asked.

“...”


	14. Chapter 14

Peter was feeling a lot better, although he was more thirsty than he had even been in his life. He wasn’t on the brink of death though, and he considered that a win.

Marissa and Prim were watching over him, which made him feel comfortable. They weren’t necessarily the most qualified of doctors, but they both had very calm auras and great bedside manner.

Ches and Jamie came in a short while later. His two siblings. He hadn’t even know about Jamie or Ches until a few years ago, but they were still the closest thing to family he had left. Well, except for Steve, but Peter didn’t want to see Steve just then. Actually, he wouldn't mind seeing his dad, but Tony and Jamie didn’t really get along great so maybe it was better that Tony wasn’t here at the moment.

“Hey, Pete,” Ches said. She looked like she was trying to keep composure and mostly succeeding, but there was a look of worry and stress on her face. “How are you feeling?”

“Umm….” Peter said. He wasn’t entirely sure how he was feeling. “I think I’m going to live. I’m really thirsty. A bit dizzy. Tired.”

“I’m glad you’re okay, buddy,” Jamie said. “What happened last night?”

“I don’t know, man. I just feel asleep and woke up all fucked up,” Peter said.

“The temperatures are around 120F today,” Prim said. “It’s not entirely surprising. We’ve got you on fluids,” she pointed to the IV attached to Peter’s arm. “But it would be great if you could try to drink as much water as possible. If you’re feeling better later we can give you soup and juice.”

Never had juice felt more appealing.

“I drew some blood, just to check on a few things,” Marissa said. “It’s hard to tell, because your body is… Has different qualities than most humans. But your white blood cell count is a bit lower than I expected.”

“Maybe it’s a spider thing?” Jamie asked.

“Still, I’d like to keep you here for a while,” Marissa said. “So we can have Prim or I keep on eye on you at all times in case you have an issue.”

Prim brought him a big glass of water. Peter drank almost all of it immediately. “Thanks.”

“We were really worried about you,” Ches said, holding Peter’s hand.

“It’s okay,” Peter said. “I’ll be okay.”

\---

Semple was sitting on a boulder in the woods. He was smoking a cigarette, a habit he had thought he quit years ago. His last cigarette was in 2003. But then again, an immortal has less motivation to quit. It wouldn’t kill him. And here in the woods there was no one else to get second hand smoke from it. No one except Skye Fargo, the mysterious newcomer, Gale’s father, Hoby’s husband, and vampire extraordinaire.

“You really screwed up now, you know,” Semple said.

“I know,” Fargo said.

“You know we’re both going to be dealing with this for the rest of eternity,” Semple continued.

“I know,” Fargo said, getting irritated. “That doesn’t help anything. We need a plan.”

“We don’t need nothing,” Semple said, seeming to regress into how he spoke in 1861. “It’s gonna be back to how it used to be. Hoby telling me what to do, all over again.”

“So leave,” Fargo said.

“I think I’ll stay,” Semple said. “Maybe you ought to leave.”

Fargo shrugged. “You know what the Eagles said. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.”

“You think he’ll kill me?” Semple asked.

“Maybe. I don’t think so. I think he’ll probably kill me. You’ve never killed him before. I’ve killed him a couple of dozen times,” Fargo said.

“Romantic,” Semple said.

“Shut the fuck up,” Fargo said. “I killed you once, I’ll do it again.”

“Yeah, well you should have killed me real dead,” Semple said.

“I tried. I really did,” Fargo said.

\---

Isaac woke up to a knock on the door to his bedroom. “Just a minute,” he said, pulling some clothes on. He eyed James lying on the bed apparently sleeping, fully nude. Isaac stepped out of the bedroom closing the door behind him so no one could see he had been with James.

It was Mark of all people to show up in his house. Rue must have let him in. “Umm… not to be a Debbie Downer, but you haven’t shown up to work in a couple of days and you missed a couple of shifts…” Mark said. “I just wanted to make sure you’re going to show up for your shift today. It’s at 3pm. If you can’t, I can cover for you. I just need to know.”

“I’m sorry,” Isaac said. “I’ve just been feeling kind of sick I lost track of time…” It was a shitty excuse, but he truly hadn’t realized how long it had been since Rue’s birthday. “What day is it?”

“It’s Sunday,” Mark said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m feeling better. I’ll be there for three, okay?” Isaac said.

“Awesome,” Mark said. “Hope you feel better. Keep hydrated and all that. There’s heatstroke going around, you know.”

“Thanks. See you later,” Isaac said. Mark nodded and left.

Isaac went back to the bedroom. “Were you aware that we’ve been in bed for…” Isaac looked at his old analog watch. “Almost thirty-six hours?”

James yawned. “Yeah, so?”

“Don’t you have a job or something?” Isaac asked.

“Sure do,” James said. “But what it is, my dear, is classified information. I had the weekend off.”

Okay, so that checked out. Rue’s birthday had been Friday.

“Classified?” Isaac asked.

“Top secret, really cool shit,” James said. “You jealous?”

“Very,” Isaac said. “Now get out of my house. You must have something else to do with your weekend.”

“You don’t need to get pissy. I’m not supposed to tell you,” James said.

“Can you please just leave?” Isaac said. “I’ve got some stuff to take care of.”

“Very well,” James said, putting his clothes on. “Until we meet again, my love.”


	15. Chapter 15

That afternoon, Isaac’s voice rang through New Haven Radio, telling the town that Peter Parker had succumbed to health problems related to the heat.

 

Tony was working in his lab and this was the first time he had heard that anything was going on. Or rather, it was the first time he had paid attention. He put his stuff away and went to the clinic.

 

“Hello, I’m here to see Peter,” he told Prim who greeted him at the door. She looked nervous, but allowed Tony in.

 

“Hey,” Tony said. He wasn’t particularly good at parenting or having conversations.

 

“Hey, Dad,” Peter said. “I’m alright, just a bit sick. I’ll be okay.”

 

“What happened?” Tony asked.

 

“I don’t know. Heat stroke, dehydration, exhaustion, take your pick,” Peter said.

 

“Where’s Steve?” Tony asked. He had assumed Steve would be by Peter’s bedside freaking out the whole time.

 

Peter said nothing.

 

\---

 

Steve was in the woods with Gale. The two of them were making a lot of progress. The wood pile would help heat the town for a week. The temperatures were very hot now, but they were expecting a large storm that would cool things off. Weather tended to go from one extreme to another these days. Better to be prepared.

 

“Fuck, it’s hot,” Gale said. “You wanna take a break?”

 

Steve nodded and they sat down and drank some water. Gale turned on the radio to see if anything was going on.

 

“Make sure you’re carrying water with you at all times and keep hydrated,” Isaac warned the listeners. “We’ve already had one case of heat exhaustion in town. Peter Parker is currently getting treatment at the clinic and is expected to have a full recovery. And now for one of the five songs on Josh’s iPod I don’t hate… Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems. I think we all know who it’s by.”

 

“You’d better go see Peter,” Gale said.

 

“Yeah, I’d better. See you later,” Steve said.

 

\---

 

Margot, Lisa, and Kat were sitting in a booth at Abernathys. James Seberg joined them loudly. “Guess who got laid?”

 

“You,” Kat said.

 

“Jamie the neighbourhood whore,” Lisa said.

 

“Isaac Karpos,” Margot said.

 

“Well… yes. Just me and Isaac together. Presumably Jamie was getting laid elsewhere,” James said. “What are you homos doing?”

 

“I’m actually straight,” Kat said.

 

“That’s super unfortunate for you,” James said. “Because pretty much every guy in town here is taken gay or both.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” Lisa said, trying to comfort Kat, who was one of her closest friends.

 

“Okay, we should make it our mission in life to get Kat laid,” Margot said.

 

“I love it,” James said. “That’s why you’re my favourite.”

 

“I thought Isaac was your favourite,” Margot said.

 

“Okay, let’s count out who our options are,” Lisa said. “Theoretically speaking… Mark, Andy, Josh, Isaac, Peeta, Gale, Marvel,  Thresh, Bucky, Sam… That’s actually quite a few.”

 

“Hey, Isaac is off the table,” James warned. “But you forgot Cato.”

“There,” Lisa said. “That gives you ten options which is not really so bad at all.”

 

“Which do you like the most?” Margot asked.

 

“Well…” Kat said, biting her lip.

 

\---

 

Meanwhile, Annie was throwing up in the women’s washroom at Abernathys. Clove was with her, holding her hair.

 

“You’ve got to get tested,” Clove said.

 

“I will,” Annie said, wiping at her mouth. “Tomorrow, okay? I don’t want to go when everyone is there visiting Peter.”

 

“Alright,” Clove said. “Drink some water. You’ll feel better. When you’re feeling good enough, why don’t you go home?” Clove asked. “I can fill in for you, I’ll tell Finnick you just had a headache.”

 

“Okay,” Annie said. “Thanks, you’re a…” She threw up into the toilet once more. “Great friend.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> There are a ton of characters in this story, so I'm sorry they won't all show up right away. Thanks for reading!


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